Still Waiting

Friday, March 21, 2008

for those who don't already know, i am actually a listener, not a reader.

i don't know whether i'm brought up that way, or it's just in me, but i hate reading books/newspaper. that explains why my GP, humanities etc sucks so much.

i hate reading. in fact, i read them only when i'm alone in the staff lounge, trying to occupy myself. on top of that, i usually don't finish the whole article. i only follow through a quarter, if the news article is half page long, or 3/4 page long.(we're not even talking about a full page. i usually skip them and just absorb in the headlines.) my favourite type of news article? the size of a palm.

but this book totally changed my mindset. The Time Traveler's wife, by Audrey Niffenegger. (the international best seller. i didnt find it in popular tho, i don't know why.)

though reading is laborious and often sends me off to dreamland, but particular book, sends my emotions in a turmoil. towards the end of the book, i was crying so hard and loud, i'm actually glad that i'm alone at home, no one will run out of the room and ask me wadssup. and it gave me lots of thoughts, lots of heartache and lots of lessons:

why is it that love is always intensified by absence?

why is it that when you have the person by your side, you actually wish for him to disappear?

would it be better to know when is your death date, or not know at all?

why is waiting so painful?

why is their love so STRONG??

if you know your husband dies at the age of 43 and you're 35 at the moment, and you also know that you will finally get to see him at the age of 82, would you wait till that long, or find some other man?

is their love kept strong because of absence, because they couldn't spend a lifetime together?

if they get to spend all the time in the world together, would their love be kept strong? (ironic.)

Can you change your fate?

maybe you thought you changed your fate/destiny but you're acting accordingly to fate unknowingly?

are we actually being played around by fate/destiny/god/whatever-you-call-it?

what is time? how does time feels like for a time traveler?

if the chrono displaced person gene is passed on to the future generations, would henry find himself actually facing all his grandchildren, great grandchildren, etc on the streets but not knowing them yet?

why is life so unfair to some?

WHY IS THEIR LOVE SO PAINFUL?

did god do all these to them? does such people exist?

why does everything happen this way?

all in all, i can just cry if i think about their pain, their fears, and their inevitable ending, because it can never be changed.

time to them, is nothing.

she has known him since she was 6 till 82, and she keeps waiting.

the man, know her only when he was 28 till 43, and he keeps her waiting.

and she, waited her whole lifetime just for this man named henry, who can time travel uncontrollably.

and this time traveling killed him.

this time traveling tortured her.

i love this story. i hope it'll be made into a movie.

i'm still considering whether to re-read this book again or not. there are some parts that i didnt catch, but i'm so afraid that reading this book again will send me flooding with tears. luckily i was reading it at home and not on some train with make up on.

every book has a story, and every book will bring you tears at some point. it will too, control your emotions for the day, making you feel happy unknowingly, or upset and bothered unconsiously. but still, even if the books drive me crazy with so much emotions stirred up, i will (maybe a little hesitant) still dive into the book. after all, i guess they just make me stronger, make me more understanding (i hope.)

i just wish i didn't have so much tears to spare.

-when are you coming back? ;